weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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