party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
