So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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