Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
