Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
