Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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