she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
