dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
