K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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