Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
