Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
