we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
