It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
