So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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