I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You took a bar mat shot.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
