New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
