Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
