Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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