she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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