okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
