can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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