You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
