I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
