You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
