there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
