You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
