Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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