i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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