Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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