Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
