Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Drake has all the answers
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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