Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
