ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
