i think my mom watched the whole time
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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