I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
