he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
