I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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