Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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