Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
