Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
