I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
