this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize