yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
