From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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