I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
