You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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