Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
