Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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