yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
