It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
