This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
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did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
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She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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