Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize