my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
