I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
