I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize