i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Houston, we have a blender
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
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