absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
