my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
