That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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