I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
