Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
