Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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