Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
