Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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