Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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