In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
