I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
