Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize