working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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